How will you spend your time with your newborn?
As much as people want to focus on the surreal and ethereal part of bringing a baby into the world, the time spent in the most delicate stages, emotionally and physically, with your newborn can bring on a fog like no other. So, how are you going to plan now to make the most of your time with your new baby?
First of all let's all acknowledge something here.
YOU GREW A HUMAN INSIDE YOUR BODY! A whole human.
Sit with that a minute.
Your body is crazy amazing. YOU are crazy amazing!
You probably had dozens of visits with your care providers all consistently assuring you that your baby is beautiful inside your body while providing you with consistent compassionate care. Or maybe, they walked with you on a more difficult path of pregnancy concerned for the well-being of you, your baby or both.
Then one day, all of a sudden, you give birth to your baby in the best possible way for YOU. And very quickly you find yourself getting ready to load up that remarkably heavy car seat into your car and sit beside your baby as you are both driven to a very different home than you left.
You may say it out loud or you may only think it. But it will probably cross your mind, "How can they just let me take this baby home?" Welcome to parenthood and the deluge on constant questioning thoughts on how you are supposed to navigate this journey.
What most people don't talk about are what makes being home with a newborn quite often the hardest:
- Losing control of your life
- Feeling alone
- Guilty for not feeling sentimental
- Trying to survive through the chaos
I'm here to tell you there are solutions to each of these situations. There are expertly trained, professionals that will come in and provide you with highly attuned care specific to your individual needs.
Losing control of your life
If there is anything predictable about having a baby, it is, in fact, how unpredictable the process can be.
All of a sudden, you are not the person in the position of authority. Your baby is. The little pink screaming ball of squish is the one that predicts when and how well you sleep, delegates the feeding schedule to a rumbling tummy that knows no routine, and puts a new face to the words determined and demanding.
Your postpartum doula can come in, help you prioritize your day, and accomplish all the tasks that are causing you the most stress. She renews your confidence, shows you where you are excelling, and is quick to see the needs around your home and tackle them without even being told.
Another common feeling among new mothers is an overwhelming sense of loneliness. The party before the birth was filled with people oohing over you and your growing belly, many baby showers and mother blessings, multiple doctor appointments and well-wishes from complete strangers.
Afterwards, you're home. And the party and influx of people stops. They want to give you space with your little one. Yet, you're feeling confined, but maybe not yet ready to go out into the world with your baby. Every day can drop you deeper and deeper into an overwhelming sense of solitude.
Here is where the fairy godmother of the newborn period comes in. Your postpartum doula is a fun, consistent, encouraging face that will engage with you during this magnificent time in your life. She can help you learn how to navigate out of the house and back into your groove, show you how to wear your baby(ies) with confidence, be there to snap those epic pictures with you and your little one, and talk with you about absolutely everything that is going on in your new life.
Guilty for not feeling sentimental
Maybe your visions of your time with your new baby included hazy mornings snuggled in bed together drinking each other in. Your breast lovingly feeds your baby as your eyes meet and you know that you are going to be absolutely everything your baby needs at any moment. You've been loyal to every new mommy blog and followed the rules of what to do to make this be the best time ever, but it. just. isn't. working.
Instead you may be fumbling with an SNS tube, attached to a breast pump or trying to focus through blurry eyes as you have relegated the Babybrezza to be the best option for preparing your baby's bottle.
You would do anything to just be able to enjoy a fleeting moment of being a new mother instead of questioning why you can't be comfortable in your new role of mommy. You need to be nurtured and honored, secure in your new role. Your postpartum doula can help you navigate all the overwhelming opinions and perspectives of everyone and help you find what works best for your family.
Trying to survive through the chaos
You can't sit your newborn down and discuss how to make out an ideal eat, sleep, snuggle regime that will help you both feel up to task and ready to take on parenthood and baby-growing. Unfortunately, no book, blog or past conversation really compares to living this life day in and day out.
There isn't a meter to read on the baby that shows when it will be time to feed. The spreadsheets of your baby's routines have no predictability, and you are tired of living in chaos not knowing what could possibly happen next. Every baby is different and there is no one rule book that encompasses the perfection you are hoping to accomplish.
Your doula grasps your need for details, up-to-date information and thoughtful procedures. She is capable of giving your confidence in your need to analyze the process and make a routine that works. When she helps establish the structure back into your home, and checks off the list of things to do, you can actually sit down and enjoy the respite with your new baby.
No matter what your priorities or your feelings coming home with a new baby, Tulsa Family Doulas provides professionally-trained and experienced postpartum doulas that will instinctively know how to meet your needs.
Schedule your complimentary consultation today to begin immediate care.