My name is Kirsty Ray, and I am officially the new OWNER of Tulsa Family Doulas!
Probably pretty obvious, but I’m a little excited!
So let me tell you a little about myself and my journey to where I am today,
Many years ago on November 1st, my mothers favorite child was born… Ok, maybe I won’t go back that far!
I was born and raised in Broken Arrow, with my 47 siblings and we were all home-schooled throughout our school years.
The skills that I learned by being raised in a home-school environment definitely led me to where I am today (This is my “thanks mom” portion).
I began working at 15 at Chick-Fil-A and worked there for 5 years, so “my pleasure” is just ingrained in me for all eternity. Not to mention the work ethic and experiences that shaped me in those years.
Then I transitioned to working at Hobby Lobby for 2 years where I continued to learn high quality service and values that I still hold dear.
In that time I became a young mother to an absolutely gorgeous little girl that completely turned my world upside down. I was terrified as a new mother but also knew exactly what I needed to do and we built a pretty wonderful life and routine together.
A pretty sweet guy joined our circle eventually and became an amazing father to my little girl and an even better husband.
I spent a little time as a stay at home mom and quickly learned that wasn’t my calling at all, I stayed very busy watching babies and even started up a MLM business.
Then I found out I was expecting my second little girl and I was just overjoyed at being a mom to another sweet baby!
I spent that nine months reading everything I could and trying to prepare for my labor and new baby.
Fast forward to the morning of October 24th 2014, I went in to be induced I was just beyond excited, things progressed pretty normally other than having a nurse that rolled her eyes when I handed her my birth plan. In hindsight, it was definitely the most poorly written plan on the planet, but the defeat of my hard work not being taken seriously really left me feeling discouraged.
I delivered that sweet and giant baby that evening and she was the squishiest little redheaded baby and I was just head over heels!
She was born late in the evening so I didn’t have many visitors and moved over to the post partum suite and settled in to get some sleep.
Sleep didn’t come though, something felt off, I couldn’t explain what it was but I just knew that I needed something so I called my nurse.
She was not having the best evening and didn’t appreciate me bothering her, she told me I was fine and to just go to sleep.
I felt so defeated and belittled at that point, who was I to think that I could prepare for my own birth or know anything about all of this medical stuff that doctors and nurses take years and years to learn. Or dare to just “know” that something was wrong with my own body.
By the early morning hours I found out that I had actually been hemorrhaging all night and at that point things got scary pretty quickly.
Thanks to absolutely amazing nurses and doctors I was able to come out without lasting physical damage and made a full recovery!
At least physically I was better, emotionally I struggled a lot over those next few months.
What could I have done differently? What did I need?
I started searching and I found a funny word… “Doula”
Would she have swooped in and saved the day and kept anything bad from happening? Not necessarily.
She would have done something much more valuable, she would have listened, encouraged and believed in me. That was all I needed.
I knew what I wanted, I knew how my body felt and that I needed something, I just needed someone to encourage me to believe in myself.
And in that journey of finding out what I was missing, I found repeated descriptions of myself, the supportive nature and desire to serve women.
It was as if a light was turned on and I knew what I had been preparing for my whole life, I was a doula.
From there I sought out trainings and found the agency where I began working for the next 4 years, and then the opportunity arose to take over the agency myself and once again I had that same feeling of just knowing that it was exactly what I was supposed to do and leaped into this new journey! I have so many plans and goals for the immediate and long term future.
Tulsa is going to be full of supported, confident and empowered women.
So join me on this adventure, it’s going to be great!!